it's not easy being green

if you've ever met me in person, you know that i am short.

for those of you who have never had the pleasure, let me elaborate: i'm short.

ok, not just short. very short. as in, i was always pretty much the shortest person in my grade. heck, even in my school.

for those of you who like things factual and numerical, i *just* made it to 5' before my hormones decided enough was enough, already. (yes, skeptics, i am telling the truth, you can measure a regulation badminton net by me- i'm five feet tall.)

anyway, i've always dealt with taller people making short jokes. frankly, it doesn't really bother me. what bothers me more are those who think that i would prefer the term "vertically challenged." as if i was *trying* to grow taller and just didn't quite make it. let me be perfectly clear: i have no desire to be any taller than i am. if i were tall, i wouldn't be me! if you don't like calling people short, petite would be a perfectly apt and inoffensive word to describe me. in fact, it's what i prefer. but if you're of the more blunt variety, short will definitely not offend me.

and now, to the point of this rambling... i realized this morning that among the many advantages that petiteness has to offer (and yes, there are quite a lot, oh doubters), there is one that i had completely missed:

short people are more eco-friendly!

how is that, you ask?

let me elaborate:

point one: short people are more apt to buy smaller, more fuel-efficient cars. (no, i haven't done a study, but what do studies really prove, anyway?) we fit better in smaller cars; we can see better over the dash, hood, etc. so, we're helping to save the environment by conserving natural resources.

point two: short people are comfortable in smaller living spaces, which also use less natural resources for heating, cooling, etc.

point three: clothing for small people uses less fabric than clothing for big people (is my point coming clear yet?).

point four: short people consume less and emit less waste (well, normally, anyway), thus conserving food and packaging resources and limiting sewage. i thought about this one for a while, debating its validity. i decided that a good test would be to observe my cats. does the smallest cat consume the least? yes! and, not coincidentally, i'm sure, the smallest cat emits the least waste! (come on, don't make me say the "p-o-o-p" word).

i can come up with more if you need me to... try me!

so, all you tall people out there who love to make fun of the petite population, take that!

you may be taller, but i'm greener!